Should a Physician Tell a Patient He/She Only Has So Long to Live?

I was thinking about my neighbors, whose doctor told the wife she had but six weeks left to live. On the one hand, I can understand the need to make sure that the patient has time to gather family members, or that they are in some way notified of the impending event, and also that the patient has time to get his/her affairs in order.

But reflecting back on my research the other day on how many people were in hospice, I remembered how in 2008, some 800,000 were in hospice, and of those, some 200,000 plus were still hanging in at the end of 2008, and some 200,000 plus more made it beyond that.  So what does that tell us?  I think that it would be ok to tell the person that they might not get better, but not to give it a time line. Let them live on as long as they do with some sense of hope. Everyone deserves to die still believing that they will live to see another day unless they are ready to go, and then that is something else. But it should be our choosing or our time, not that said to us by someone who gives us but a few minutes or possibly half an hour or so, while we live in our bodies 24/7.
This little quilt, "What Would Water Do?" was based on a poem that I had permission to reprint. In fact that lady now has the quilt which was made by me. Somehow it seemed to want to join this article.

Orphan Plates

I have a bunch of orphan plates I have always loved. Most people would have thrown them out, but for me, they are tiny everyday works of art and I treasure them.

I think some of the seniors are like those orphan plates, for they might be struggling to make it on their own, and many of the relatives might have "discarded them," or assigned them a lower priority in their lives as their care became more demanding.

I see each and every human being no matter how old they are or how infirm, as someone special who still has gifts to offer the world. There is a fiber artist whose art I have always loved, Deidre Scherer, who worked with hospice patients and other elders in their final year, months or days of their lives. She created the most beautiful, loving and compassionate fabric portraits of each of them. Although I cannot put them up here because of copyright issues, I will point you to her web site, http://www.dscherer.com/, where you can see her work. I hope you will appreciate the beauty and treasure these elders as I do.

There are 1.8 million seniors living in nursing homes today throughout the United States. The nursing home numbers do not include assisted-living facilities. There is currently no federal definition of assisted living, so there is a void in the data.

In 2008, there were some 1.45 million receiving hospice services. Of those, some 963,000 died, and 276,000 remained on the hospital census at the end of 2008 (these are known as carryovers). And still another 212,000 were released from hospice in 2008 (these are known as live releases) and for a variety of reasons.

And I often wonder about those who are left behind when a senior passes on. Sometimes a spouse is left or a grown child, and again, the relatives might feel uncomfortable continuing a loving and welcoming relationship with the survivor. And I think if the person or persons left behind have any physical/developmental challenges, the situation may be intensified.

Someone I know if facing such a situation right now, and some of you might also know people who are facing similar situations. I hope that each of us can get over that uncomfortable feeling and help the person to make that transition and find his or her way back to a productive and peaceful life. I know there are grief support groups and other forms of assistance, but the person or persons remaining might not always get connected up with them for whatever reasons, so it is important for us to reach out to them and help them find their way.